On being an Encore Bride

So, until today, I’d never heard the term “Encore Bride”. Or maybe, I suppose, I have and just never realized quite what it meant and that it applied to me. You see, this isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to tying the knot. Back when I was 21, I thought I’d found the love of my life in someone that I’d known FOR-EV-ER. Our romance was a whirlwind one, and before we knew it we were “engaged” and eloping to Vegas with only a few close friends behind our parent’s backs. It really is never a good sign when you need to start out a marriage that way–which is what should have been red flag NUMERO UNO. But, being 21, and MADLY in “love”, it’s insane just thinking about how CRAZY it was, but hindsight is always 20/20! So a few days and one angry conversation with my dad later, he “KNEW” what we did (since despite being borderline computer illiterate at that time somehow managed to track down a marriage certificate on the internet) and the cat was out of the bag! And seeing as we still wanted a wedding, our parents (reluctantly, of course) agreed to throw us our “DREAM” wedding. See it was important to my Ex’s parents that we get married in the Catholic Church, and at the time, pleasing EX-MIL was far more important than my quasi-desire for any other ceremony. If I could do it all again, well, if I could do it all again I wouldn’t have done it in the first place! But seriously, the church decision was one of the worst I made. The church wedding made the whole thing WAY more complicated and stressful, especially for someone like me, to which having a church wedding wasn’t really a priority.

One of the biggest pitfalls of my first wedding, was my lack of control. My parents were paying for it, and as generous as it was, my Dad can be the typical “my money, my choice” type person. You know, the one that has to call the shots. And as a result not everything was what we  I wanted. Don’t get me wrong the wedding was BEAUTIFUL. I was lucky that two of my ex SIL’s were wedding planners and got deals and hook-ups left and right. And I look at it as everyone makes mistakes in their lives, mine just happened to me more expensive and stressful than others. But I couldn’t stay married to someone like that, I wanted to be with my soul mate, who I have now, THANKFULLY found. But going through what I did made me the person that Mr. B fell in love with, and it taught me a lot about myself (for example: don’t ever get blonde hair again). But in all seriousness, having lost my sister a few years ago, and not having her here for our upcoming wedding makes all the pain and suffering I went through because of the last one worth it, so that I know she was able to be my Bridesmaid, even if it wasn’t for my “real” wedding.

Me and my Grandparents at my 1st wedding

Me and my sister at Kim
Photos personal

Was the road to where you are today long and bumpy? Was the destination worth the journey?


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